My sense of time is being altered. Usually this happens when I am sitting on my cushion in meditation and depending on the state of my mind time is either non-existent or endless. Now that I have been sheltering in place time is also fluid. My awareness opens newly to the order of the day and how it will be filled. I have to consciously remember the day of the week and populate my mind without relying on work or habit. This opens up new possibilities and allows me to examine my mind in a whole new way. Where should I place my attention, what is a should and what is a choice? It has always been important for me to maintain my relationships and connect with friends and family. I don’t physically engage with people like I used to do but there is time now to connect to people from my past and present. My brother and his family who live on the west coast, and I on the east coast, share virtual evening meals with twice a week. While they eat dinner my husband and I are reclining in bed almost ready for sleep. My grand nephew who is only a year in-a- half is beginning to recognize us and waved to the screen last week as we said good night. We appreciate seeing the leap in his development each week. His cousins are also present, 14 months and eight years old in their home. They are there a little less often for dinner but their mother sends updates which we treasure. We get to understand the pressures they face working with chiIdren at home. I am sequestered in the house but I do not feel alone.
It seems the whole world is being altered by Covid-19 and reaching out to each other in different ways. More than ever there is a consciousness of community and understanding that what we we do has consequences. My breath affects yours. As I walk in my neighborhood and pass someone we wave and move away from each other to avoid spreading or receiving droplets of this virulent virus. If we blind ourselves to interconnection and consider ourselves invulnerable to disease or death the virus is perpetuated. I care for me, I care for you. It is reciprocal. What we do makes a difference as does our attitude.
I’ve been feeling very fortunate. I have my health, I am lucky enough to have a warm house to shelter in, enough food to eat and a husband who’s company I appreciate and is even cooking and preparing great meals. I have a new routine. Each morning I exercise, have breakfast, meditate and my husband and I walk our dog. Whether the day is beautiful with the sun shining or windy and cold it is always refreshing. Yesterday my husband nudged me back as I unconsciously moved closer to a neighbor when he took out his phone to show me a video of his dog playing with another neighbor’s puppy. It definitely requires mindfulness to remember to take care, wash hands, don’t touch the face and stay away from individuals. My immune system is not robust and I am older so am in the high risk category. This means I have not been to a grocery store and have been dependent on a commercial shopper to bring groceries to us. I miss handling the fruit, examining the vegetables for freshness and being spontaneous in what I choose to cook so we are planning our meals in advance, checking recipes and being creative and trying new dishes. I am grateful that we can order our food and it is delivered to our door. Our cupboard is fuller than ever and I am getting to actually bake bread, something I always wanted to do but never did before. Perhaps pie crusts are next.
It is raining today as I write this blog. It actually feels good to be at home and have a change in my morning routine. I wonder how many more daffodils will be blooming tomorrow. It is a joy to see the blossoming of trees and watch the magnolias bud. Our trips have been cancelled, I no longer go out for dinner or meet a friend for lunch but there are now dance parties on zoom and I just participated in a virtual birthday party for a friend. Stay well, be safe, and let’s keep cherishing this challenging, wonderful life. May we all be good to each other.