My birthday is approaching and with it awareness of the number that signifies my age, 78. and many thoughts and feelings. The first is gratitude—and wonder that in a few weeks I will have actually been on this earth for 78 years. To celebrate I splurged and bought a hot tub. My body welcomes it. My husband and I ordered it at the end of last summer with hopes that we’d have it for wintertime and could soak and warm the body and refresh the mind. This did not happen. Covid created delays in supplies and manufacturing so it arrived only a few days ago…and it brought up many thoughts and feelings.
As I waited I had time to reconsider my expectations and questioned my need to get it. My arthritis was still present but my back hurt less. Do I really need it? Do I deserve it (yes), will I like it (yes), will I take care of it, clean filters, check the PH, tend to its needs like I promised my husband who didn’t really want it? (maybe). Would I enjoy it as much as the one we had previously for many years? It eventually had to go because it needed too many repairs. This was at least five years ago. It sat outside my husband’s office on the second floor. open to sky and stars. My husband had to shovel the path to the tub each time we used it every winter as the snow from the roof fell directly onto its cover. and filled the deck with snow becoming like a mountain. The pathway through was cold and icy and slippery. but I never worried I couldn’t traverse the path or enter the tub. Our new one is on the ground floor and we can enter it through a covered patio BUT the hot tub man looked at me, looked at the tub, and suggested a railing to help me get into it safely. I never considered that I’m short and it might not be easy to enter. There never used to be a problem. Looking at the tub it did seem high and entering it I’d have to lift my leg up and over and then down again.I was reminded of my age and changed body. Yes, it was a good idea—and I wish it was not. Everything changes, mind, and body. Humbling.
This Wednesday I’m giving a talk for the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion that’s titled “The Latter Stage of Life: Crisis, Opportunity or Both". Of course, both are true. Of course, much depends on circumstances and the way we approach them. Of course, I am delighted I still have mind and body—and now hot tub too. I can’t invite you to join me in the tub but I can invite you to come this Wednesday, to the presentation through the Center for Mindfulness & Compassion. In addition, if you haven’t already, I invite you to join us for my drop-in group called Aging with Wisdom. Here's a link to learn more about the drop-in group. Our next meeting, via Zoom, is May 27th at 10 AM Eastern time to reflect on the latter stages of our life. Hope to see you there.
Warmly,
Elana
Expectations & Opportunities