It is the beginning of August and it’s been our tradition to go to the beach for vacation. Over the years we’ve extended the time to vacate and surrender to hedonism— for seniors. We have the good fortune to spend the entire month near surf, sand, ice cream stores and farmer’s markets. I supply up on good fiction and treat myself to fresh fish, lobster and clams, newly baked bread and delectable desserts. Calories be damned.  We rent a house that we have been inhabiting for about twenty-five years so it is familiar and stress free. As I write it’s morning and my husband has gone for our habitual grocery shopping. This year he is the shopper and I am sitting in the shade by the house in the back yard the dog resting nearby. My husband believes it is too high a risk for me to meander through the narrow isles looking for goodies.  I don’t like acknowledging that he is right, age and extended chemotherapy has probably compromised my immune system. I feel healthy so it is hard to admit that I have to be careful. So much of meditation is about balance and being with things as they are. What are the risk factors in going shopping or just doing what used to be normal like gathering with friends or going out to eat? What is worth the risk, what is not? Excellent contemplation...and ongoing. At the heart of mindfulness is impermanence. Nothing ever stays the same. Holding on to what used to be and craving it be different than it is causes suffering. Being human means there is both craving and suffering. It is also an opportunity to see how connected we all are. Your wearing a mask means I am less afraid to be in public. My wearing a mask means I care about your well being too. 

We almost cancelled our vacation. I’ve been appreciating the neighborhood where I live and taking walks in it. Our house has been cool and it’s been pleasant to be inside. My husband and I have gotten into a rhythm and we are getting along. Perhaps this was the year to stay at home. What’s the risk factor in leaving, what are the down sides to staying home? Am I being greedy to once more go away, feel my toes in the sand and swim in cold Atlantic waters?  I do love the beach and being more in nature than our neighborhood in Worcester, MA. After getting information from friends who live and visit Martha’s Vineyard where we were heading we decided it would be possible to stay safe and enjoy sea and sky there. Yesterday our first day we arrived at the ferry early and there were fewer cars than we were accustomed to seeing. We got onto an early ferry, everyone was masked and we were requested to stay in the car. Good.

When we drove off the ferry into town it was early so the streets were not crowded and everyone we saw, young and old, were wearing masks. Good. It was too early to go to our rental house so we had time to kill. Our car was overloaded with dog, dog items, suitcases of clothes, food and sports gear. There were bicycles in the back of the car and our two Kayaks on the roof and it was hot. Paradise was uncomfortable and we were not luxuriating in sea, surf or even land. What to do? 

I’ve been meditating on equanimity and I was feeling hungry, irritable and impatient to leave the car and get into vacation mode. I know that every moment is precious. I often quote Thich Nhat Hahn when I lead a meditation, 

 “Breathing in I calm.

Breathing out I smile. 

Dwelling in the present moment.

It is a precious moment.”

I exhaled. I reminded myself to keep my mouth shut and stop saying, “Let’s go to the house. Maybe the previous renter has left.” We did go, her car was there, we left. My mood did not. Ah, challenge. We went to the farmer’s market and people were in line and kept social distance and wore masks. Good. We got corn, bread, vegetables and cheese. Good. Back in the car, hot. Still not time to go back to the house. 

Every moment is a precious moment.

We drove around the island, saw the cliffs at Aquinnah, formerly called Gay Head, went back to the house and a neighbor I had previously met was there cleaning. We both looked at each other.

“You were supposed to call.” She said. “The house won’t be ready until 1:00 PM.” 

“Really?”    (It was about 11:15)

Both of us felt annoyed. I explained our circumstance.

"We got on the ferry earlier than we expected and arrived on the Island before 8 AM and have been driving around. I’m sorry, I’m hot, irritable.”

She softened, I came to my senses and calmed. Crisis over. We got permission to refrigerate perishables and calm surfaced.

Vacation has begun...and we even got to go to the beach late afternoon. Everything changes!